Life in The Bend

Bad Adoption Days

2012-02-07T19:31:00.002-05:00

Some days are better than others up in my head. There are times when I can relegate E and Z to the back of my mind, assume that it's going to take a few more months for them to come home, and then move on with my routine. Those are the good days.

There are lots of moments, however, that I walk into work and when someone greets me with, "Hey! How's it going?" all I really want to do is put my head down on a counter and yell, "MY BABIES ARE IN AN ORPHANAGE. NOBODY IS GIVING US ANY INFORMATION ABOUT WHEN THEY'LL BE ABLE TO COME HOME. ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO TODAY IS CHUCK ROCKS AT THINGS AND SCREAM AT SOMEONE. HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING?" Thankfully, I've so far been able to stifle that urge.

In November, probably around Week 16 of waiting to be submitted to court when we'd been told it would take 1-5 weeks, I got out of my car to pump gas and locked my keys inside. There had been plenty of moments of receiving frustrating news in the previous months when it would have been appropriate for me to have a meltdown. It hadn't happened though because we were so emotionally drained that even crying seemed pointless. Imagine my surprise then when the gas station clerk started to refuse to let me use his phone (mine was locked in the car) and I realized that I was about to have a Big Ugly Cry right there in the gas station. My sniffles were enough to convince the guy to let me make a call just so he could clear me out of the building. I then proceeded to walk out to the gas pump, lean against my car, and have a complete sobbing breakdown complete with hyperventilating and lots of nose blowing on the paper towels you're supposed to use to clean the windshield. Paul was *ahem* mildly concerned when he arrived to rescue me with a spare key, but I think he understood that sometimes the relentless nature of this entire process can rear its head at completely inappropriate times.

Today was another one of those days that I would describe as a Bad Adoption Day. There was nothing particularly bad that happened. It's just that it's been less than two weeks since we passed court and it already feels like we've been waiting an eternity. I have no idea how I'm going to endure the rest of this wait. It feels completely insurmountable. My babies are in an orphanage. We haven't received any updates about them since we returned from Ethiopia. I miss them. I worry. I'm tired.

On our way home this afternoon, in the midst of telling me about saying the Pledge of Allegiance at school, Atticus and Norah were talking about the Great Central U.S. ShakeOut that they'd participated in at school today. For someone who teaches older kids like I do, this meant three minutes of attempting to convince thirty teenagers not to giggle too much as they tried to cram their oversized bodies beneath undersized desks. For preschoolers, however, the experience had carried a lot of weight and they were very intrigued about earthquakes. Suddenly Atticus said in the most worried little voice, "Mama, my teacher showed us a map of where earthquakes happen and it looked like they happen in Ethiopia where our brother and sister are. Do they have earthquakes? Who's going to take care of them if they have one? They won't know to get under desks. They're too little to even have desks."

Gulp. Breathe in. Breathe out. Add another line to my list of concerns. I finally ended up explaining that while they do have some earthquakes in Ethiopia, I didn't think they would be having any soon. Atticus and Norah talked it over and decided that if there is an earthquake the caregivers will put E and Z underneath their cribs and stay with them until it's safe to come out.
The big siblings seemed satisfied with this plan and moved onto other quandaries. I'm still a little stuck though.

I wish I had a conclusion to this stream of consciousness - some sweet little platitude that would wrap everything up in a neat little package and make me feel like I've arrived at some sort of resolution about this subject. I don't have one yet though. Right now I just need to acknowledge that this situation kind of sucks sometimes. It's uncomfortable. It's unfair to E and Z. It makes me want to climb out of my own skin some days. I'm pretty sure it's going to get better eventually, but sometimes I just have to wallow in the reality of what the situation is right now.

The Pledge of Allegiance

2012-02-07T19:04:00.003-05:00

The students at Atticus and Norah's school get to take turns reciting the Pledge of Allegiance over the loudspeaker in the mornings. It has been a very big deal in our house because Atticus was picked early in the year and has been lording it over Norah ever since. She has been desperate for her turn and once went so far as to dash across the parking lot at dropoff in an attempt to reach the principal and plead her case. Today was finally the magic day and Norah was chosen along with a few of her friends to go to the office for announcements. She was so proud!

[Editor's Note: I don't know why the embedded YouTube video of Norah cuts off the right side. If you double click on it you can see her face the entire time. I tried using YouTube's stability control - advertised to cut down the amount of visible shaking in the video - but I don't think it was ready for the type of motion that Norah generates when she's excited.]

It's Family Day!

2012-02-04T20:25:00.002-05:00

Four years ago on this date we met Atticus and Norah for the first time. We are one lucky couple.

Paul marked the occasion by commissioning a Family Day cake from his coworker Laura. Didn't she do a fabulous job? Please take note of her incorporation of the Ethiopian and USA flag colors along with Atticus's fireman outfit and Norah's princess dress. The cake is delicious and the decorations were much appreciated by the kiddos.

Happy Familyversary!

Another Event Down

2012-01-26T20:45:00.004-05:00

When we found out that we'd passed court this morning, Paul posted a Facebook update saying that he felt like he'd just completed a leg of the Ironman Triathlon. It's one of the best analogies of this adoption process that I've seen - with the added caveat that you don't know at the beginning of any leg of this race exactly how long the course will be.

We go to the pool almost every weekend, but I can't tell you how long it's been since I swam the entire length of it and I haven't ridden a bicycle since college unless you count pedaling the kids' bikes to demonstrate. I do know a little bit about running, however, and can tell you that the wait for a referral was like signing up for a one-mile fun run only to find out that it was actually a 10k. Totally doable, but a real drag if you weren't prepared, were worrying that finish line would shut down before you got there, and all the good varieties of Jimmy John's sandwiches would be eaten at the schwag station before you had a turn to enjoy one.

The journey from getting our referral to passing court was akin to anticipating a 10k only to find that you were actually on the half-marathon course - and a really hilly, hot one at that - with very few water stations, poor organization, and road signs that weren't easy to read. The type of race where the scenery isn't pretty, even the little kids and elderly are lapping you, and you start to curse yourself for ever signing up in the first place.

Finding out today that our case had passed court - almost seven months after being matched with our bambinos - was a huge relief. For those wondering why this is a big deal, it means that in the eyes of the Ethiopian and American governments we are now legally the parents of Little Girl and Little Guy. We are theirs. They are ours. We're really, truly, according to binding legal documents, a family.

Now we prepare ourselves for the final leg of the triathlon: U.S. Embassy Clearance. In the Ironman, the final leg (after a 2.4-mile swim and 115-mile bicycle race) is a marathon. In current Ethiopian Adoption Land it's taking families about 3-6 weeks for their cases to be submitted to court (in the interim, the adoption decree is published, new birth certificates with the adoptive parents' names are issued, and Ethiopian passports are procured for the children). From our perspective now, that span seems like a fun run v. 5k situation. [Remind me of this when we hit Week 5 of waiting to be submitted.] It's the path after submission that will hold the challenge. Some children's U.S. visas are issued a week after submission. This would be akin to rounding the corner on Mile 2 of a 10k and finding a handsome Swedish masseuse waiting to rub you down and lead you to the hot tub. For other participants, it turns out be an ultramarathon in which they're expected to navigate an entirely new course without a map or guides. My personal hope is that we'll have the kiddos home by our son's second birthday. That's a semi-modest vision that allows for a few minor bumps in the road. Really though, we don't know which version we're in for. March? August? 2013?

Tonight we revel in another leg completed while looking forward with wide eyes and plenty of trepidation.

It's Official!

2012-01-26T06:23:00.002-05:00

We are legally a family of six. The babies' cases were both ratified by the Ethiopian court yesterday and we are now their legal parents. Sweet, sweet relief.

Waiting List

2012-01-23T19:51:00.002-05:00

Wait, wait, wait. Whine, whine, whine. Rinse. Repeat. I'm boring even myself.

Eventually - we hope - our two little ones will come home and we might not have much notice at all. If we pass court on Wednesday, we've been told that it will take at least 4-6 weeks for our paperwork to be submitted to the U.S. Embassy. After that, everything is up in the air. We could pass within a few days and be given clearance to travel immediately, or they could decide to do additional investigations and reviews of our cases and it could take many, many months. [Wait! This is veering into whining territory! Get to the list!] At any rate, we might have a ton of time left before our babies come home, but it could be just a couple of months away and I will surely want to go back in time and shoot myself if I don't get certain tasks out of the way first.

train for a 10-k scheduled for 4.4.12
declutter the babies' room
finish decorating the babies' room
donate infant clothes and equipment that the newbies will be too big to use
get rid of the old drop-side cribs
buy new/used cribs
obtain and probably paint a new/used dresser to house the newbies' clothes
find a minivan to buy
declutter the entryway
repaint the entryway (Thanks, Pinterest!)
clean out the kitchen cabinets
purge clothes that the rest of the family no longer uses
lesson plan for maternity leave
Enjoy Atticus and Norah and revel in being a family of four before everything changes.

There you have it, Reader. If it's on the internet, then it must be true that I'm going to dig into this list and get it all done as soon as possible.

Court Update

2012-01-17T20:05:00.001-05:00

Our agency emailed us an update about our case tonight. The update is that they had previously given us the wrong date. Our new date was not yesterday, as they'd told us, but is instead next Wednesday the 25th.

Around Here

2012-01-15T21:57:00.002-05:00

I made my first foray into putting yarn twists in Norah's hair. She's not a fan of having her hair done, but she does love the finished product. A great tutorial is available at Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care if you're interested in trying them out for yourself. The style is supposed to be a good way of giving her scalp a rest from the styles we often use that require her hair to be pulled toward the center of her scalp. In addition, yarn was soaked first in coconut and olive oils, so it's supposed to provide her hair with plenty of moisture during this dry weather. I didn't do a perfect job, but the braids took three separate styling sessions to put in - so I'm really glad it looks presentable!

Around here, we encourage our son to jump on the bed. Anything to run off some of his boundless energy!

Court Update

2012-01-12T21:26:00.002-05:00

We have another court date set for Monday, 1/16 at which point it's hoped that the information that was missing from our daughter's file at our 12/22 date will be there. Please keep your fingers crossed and send out hopeful thoughts/prayers/vibes that everything goes smoothly and a court decree is issued.

We missed Atticus and Norah terribly while we were in Ethiopia and were glad to get home to them. On the other hand, it feels like we left pieces of our hearts behind with our new little ones. It's agonizing not to know how the rest of our case will unfold, whether we'll get stuck in the Embassy process, and, most importantly, when the newbies will be able to come home. They are so sweet and it's physically painful to reflect on how much of their lives we're missing. This video of Atticus and Norah was taken at roughly the same age that the newbies are now and it makes my heart ache to see how quickly my first babies are growing and to think that our new children are at about that same age but lacking parents to appreciate it.

Atticus Educates His Gymnastics Class

2012-01-09T17:29:00.002-05:00

Today was the first day of a new session of gymnastics and the teacher was leading the children in introductions.

Girl #1: I'm Jane. I'm four!
Girl #2: I'm Mary and I'm four.
Atticus: I'm Atticus and I'm four.
Norah: I'm four, too!
Atticus: (to the instructor, class, and all the parents) But I'm older. Because I came out of my Ethiopian mommy's uterus first. Norah came out of her mommy's uterus after I did. Because I started growing in my mommy's uterus first from the special hug and then Norah started growing in her mommy's uterus later. But we were in our mommies' uteruses for the same amount of time. I just came out first, so I'm older.
Teacher: That happens. Thank you, Atticus.

Blue Nile Falls

2011-12-31T20:05:00.005-05:00

When we hiked to see the falls it was the market day in the area and local residents were returning home with their purchases. It was humbling to be passed by old women carrying sheet metal, goats, and enormous loads of goods. Even barefoot and weighted down, everyone was able to speed past us nimbly. I guess living in the mountains helps you to keep in great shape!

The hanging bridge in the pictures is new. Prior to its installation a few months ago, residents and brave tourists crossed on a long log that somehow spans the two sides of the canyon. It's about the length of a city block. Wow.

Awash National Park Pictures

2011-12-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

The second picture features two crocodiles. I attempted to walk closer to the edge of the river to get a better shot, but was stopped by our guide (the guy with the rifle in the waterfall photo) because it turns out that the crocodiles like to sleep on the banks where I was walking. Death by crocodile averted.

Travel to Dessie, Ethiopia

2011-12-28T11:19:00.002-05:00

Someone from our adoption agency once told us that the drive to Dessie from Addis Ababa is long, flat, and not terribly interesting. I can only assume that that person was not remembering the correct trip. Ethiopia is rife with gorgeous landscapes, but I think the ones on this drive were particularly spectacular. Truly, my pictures don't do it justice. Much of the drive consists of winding roads along the cliffs of mountains. Once again, I was extremely thankful to have a capable driver at the wheel and would never want to drive the road myself!

If you're planning a trip to Dessie, you should be advised that it's much colder there than in other places in Ethiopia. I may sound like Captain Obvious, but nobody had mentioned that to us and we were shocked to find the temperatures in the high 50's rather than in the 80's as they'd been for the rest of our trip. Brrr!!!!

Norah was born in Dessie and we made this journey to get some more information for her about her background. That information is private for her, but I will say that we're delighted to be able to tell her someday about the beautiful area of the country she came from and the wonderfully kind people who played roles in her early life.

Chero and Awash National Park

2011-12-26T12:47:00.004-05:00

We drove to Chero (also known as Asebe Teferi)yesterday and spent the morning there today. The scenery was incredible and I have a ton of pictures to post of the beautiful mountains and the animals we encountered on the road during the drive.

On the way out, we were stopped briefly because there had been a conflict between the Afar, Oromo, and Somali people in a town, Bodede, that we were passing through. Apparently, traffic had been stopped for several hours and there was gunfight. Luckily we missed most of that because just the ten minutes that we were stopped was incredibly terrifying.

We wrapped up the day with a visit to Awash National Park. Wow! We didn't get to see any of the lions, jaguars, cheetahs, warthogs, or hippos that are supposed to roam the area, but we did see lots of monkeys, baboons, crocodiles, dik-diks, and oryx. A monkey tried to break into our driver's car by trying all the door latches while we were outside of it hiking to the Awash Falls. It was truly a memorable afternoon!

This photo of Awash National Park is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Bahir Dar

2011-12-26T12:42:00.004-05:00

I don't have time to write at length or post many pictures tonight, but I do want to copy down the highlights of our trip to Bahir Dar so that I can remember to come back and fill in the details.

We spent Saturday boating on Lake Tana and watching fishermen in traditional papyrus boats bring in their tilapia. We then crossed the lake to visit two 14th century monasteries and tour a fair-trade coffee farm (orchard?). After that, we traveled by car to the Blue Nile Falls and hiked for a couple of hours to see the falls. It was an amazing visit and the sights we saw were fascinating. I can (and will) write a lot more about it!

Day Three

2011-12-22T12:16:00.003-05:00

The bad news is that we didn't pass court today. However, it appears that the only documentation we're missing is an updated police report for our daughter's file, so we're optimistic that we may get a court decree soon.

Today we had our third visit with the newbies and it was a rewarding one. Our little guy let out a squall at the very beginning when the nannies left him with us, but after that he was quite happy to play ball with us. Paul managed to cajole some great smiles from our little man by lifting him up in the air. At one point, I walked away to put my camera out of Little Girl's inquiring reach and Little Guy actually walked over to see where I'd gone. He then sat happily in my lap playing with a toy bus for quite a while. It was definite, definite progress!

Little Girl has personality to spare and is very vocal. She was babbling up a storm and let her feelings be known whenever a toy was taken away. She's a total doll.

We leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning for Bahir Dar and will be going to Chero directly afterward. I doubt we'll have internet access in either location, but we'll be sure to take plenty of pictures and report back on Tuesday when we return to Addis.

Visit #2

2011-12-21T14:56:00.002-05:00

We drove out to see our kiddos again. One of these days, I need to devote an entire post just to the traffic and sites along the road here. They never fail to fascinate me.

Our little guy was upset to be left with us again, but there were more moments when he wasn't crying and then both children fell asleep and slept on us for quite a while. He really does like to be held when he's scared, so we've got that going in our favor. Toward the end of our visit, he started playing a game of putting his hand in Paul's palm and we even got a little glimpse of a smile. Slowly but surely we'll make progress.

In the meantime, we both have terrible jet-lag. I don't remember it being nearly this bad the last time we came to Ethiopia. It may be due to our terrible sleep in the weeks leading up to this trip, but we're completely zonked. We decided to take a short nap at 1:00 p.m. and woke up seven hours later! The plan right now is to take some Unisom and try to sleep through to the morning. I hope that sets us on the right track!

We have court tomorrow morning and are desperately hoping to find that our MOWA letter granting us custody of the children is there. Please keep us in your thoughts!

We Meet for the First Time

2011-12-20T10:38:00.001-05:00

Our internet access is limited, so this will have to be short. We met our sweet little ones for the first time today!

Baby Boy cried for the first 50 minutes of our visit and then fell sound asleep for the last ten minutes. Poor little guy! He was so scared being left with us! Fortunately, he did cling to us in his distress and didn't want us to put him down. Those are good signs.

Little Girl was unfazed by her brother's crying for the first 20 minutes or so, but then she started to look at Paul and I as if to say, "What in the heck are you doing to that kid to make him cry so much?" She is just starting to walk independently and will take about ten steps before flopping on her bottom and starting to crawl since it's still faster. She liked blowing raspberries and loved the iPad which we'd gotten out to try to distract her brother. I think Paul got a video of her trying to kiss her own image. Super cute! We didn't take any pictures of our little guy's face until he was asleep because he was so upset the entire time. He is walking nicely and liked looking out the window at the children playing on the playground.

We're not allowed to post pictures of the new kiddos until we have physical custody of them, so the ones I'm attaching will have to do. They are mainly for Atticus who will love seeing the plane that took us from Frankfurt to Ethiopia, as well as the Addis Ababa airport.

We Are Here

2011-12-20T01:17:00.001-05:00

Our flights yesterday went without incident. On our flight from Chicago to Frankfurt Paul and I were seated separately and the woman sitting beside me watched The Lion King four times. That was the only thing of note though.

Our internet connection here is limited, so this will be short. We're waiting in the lobby of our hotel for our driver to pick us up to go meet the bambinos for the first time. I hardly slept a wink last night in anticipation! Aack!

We're off!

2011-12-18T19:17:00.001-05:00

We're boarding for Frankfurt. Goodbye, U.S.A.!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

Testing

2011-12-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been an actual blog post, you would be reading that we leave for Ethiopia in less than 48 hours.

Will photos post through my email? Am I going to be able to blog from Ethiopia?

Testing.

Cuddle Bugs

2011-12-13T19:36:00.002-05:00

Norah Learns to Navigate the Medical Establishment

2011-12-11T20:00:00.002-05:00

A few days ago Atticus and Norah were playing doctor with their baby dolls. When it was Atticus's turn to be the doctor, the following exchange occurred:

Atticus: (listening to the baby's heartbeat) I'm sorry, Norah, but your baby is dead.

Norah: (whips out her toy cellphone and begins "texting"): She is not, Atticus! I'm emailing another doctor!

She's Come Undone

2011-12-08T20:03:00.003-05:00

We leave for Ethiopia in ten days and life is a whirlwind.

Our trip will last twelve days and we're planning on doing some pretty intense traveling while we're there. We are only allowed to meet with our babies three times, for an hour each session; nobody wants them to get too attached to us only to have us leave to go home. Therefore, the first four days in-country will be spent meeting our babes and going to our Ethiopian court date and the last six days will be occupied with visiting some towns outside Addis Ababa. My parents and Paul's mom will very generously be taking care of Atticus and Norah at our house.

I could go on and on about how excited we are to meet these two little ones. We can't wait to cuddle them up and start making a connection with them. Meeting two toddlers is going to be a very different experience than meeting Atticus and Norah as infants. We're trying to prepare ourselves for a chilly reception, especially since we've been told that our new son is wary of strangers and cameras. I could also expound about how much I'm dreading having to say goodbye to our little ones with no idea of when we'll get U.S. Embassy clearance to bring them home. I'm trying not to dwell on that too much, but I have to admit that it's occupying a lot of brain space.

Meanwhile, life is nuts. Paul is taking three classes on top of his full-time job and his final papers and exams are all approaching at top speed. The kiddos are psyched out of their minds about Christmas and come up with all sorts of creative ideas about how we can decorate. My students have already mentally checked out for the winter holiday and seem to be consuming only holiday chocolate for breakfast. My grades were due on Monday and I had 147 essays to score and comment on before they could be entered. We aren't at all packed for Ethiopia. We don't know where we're staying once we leave Addis Ababa or how we're getting there - though we have contracted a good guide. Anti-malarial medicine needs to be prescribed and picked up. Library books have to be returned. The flex-spending account has to be spent and filed before we leave since we're not returning to work until after the new year. I don't think there's any possible way that Paul is going to be able to squeeze in dentist and optometrist appointments, but he does need to get his flu shot. We have to get a bunch of paperwork notarized. I'm pretty sure our parents would appreciate some written instructions about the kids' routine before we leave. And we should sign something giving them the right to seek medical treatment for our children...And...

We've been trucking along, assuming it will all work out and we'll be able to keep all these plates spinning without anything crashing too disastrously. Last night, however, we received notice that the fingerprints for our new kids' I-600A immigration form expire at the very beginning of January. We'd known that the I-600A will expire in April and had planned to file for a renewal in February, but we had no idea that the fingerprints would expire beforehand. How do fingerprints expire? They don't change! Aargh.

To completely understand, you must realize that A.) Expired paperwork could lead to delays in the U.S. Embassy process (i.e. coming home!) for our children. B.) Fingerprinting appointments are issued by the government and require a long drive. C.) There is no possible way that we can bypass mailing in our paperwork and waiting to be assigned a fingerprinting appointment. D.)We were told that the process can take 75 days BUT NOBODY TOLD US THEY WERE GOING TO EXPIRE IN THREE WEEKS (except for the tiny little box at the bottom of the I-600A form and when we received that 14 months ago it seemed inconceivable that we wouldn't be done with this whole process before anything expired). In the process of researching this last night, I came across something that indicated our homestudy, state police reports, medical files, and state fingerprints might need to be updated. Before we leave. Oh my freaking goodness.

To top it off, there's been a ridiculous amount of tail-chasing and drama surrounding my request to miss two.freaking.days of school before Christmas vacation. Sick leave v. personal leave, different HR people telling me different things at different times, blah, blah, blah.

It was not a good morning. Finally, someone official from our adoption agency contacted me to let me know that It Will Be Okay. As long as we file for a re-fingerprinting appointment before we leave, this shouldn't be a roadblock to achieving embassy clearance. Updating the homestudy and all that's involved with that can wait until January and we can't file it for the I-600A update until February at the earliest anyway. Sweet, sweet relief. My head is intact and saved for exploding some other day.

World AIDS Day

2011-12-01T22:07:00.002-05:00

When we decided to adopt from Ethiopia, Melissa Fay Greene's book There Is No Me Without You was one of the first books we read. In it, she chronicled the AIDS orphan crisis through the story of one Ethiopian woman who inadvertently opened her home and eventually an orphanage to shelter children whose parents were sick with or had died of AIDS.

I don't think it's possible to be involved in the world of Ethiopian adoption without developing a passion to see AIDS research continued. Today, when infected individuals are receiving ARVs and proper medical care, they are expected to live long and full lives in which HIV is just a chronic but manageable disease. In fact, as this New York Times article illustrates, the promises of a vaccine and a cure seem to be very real possibilities. Unfortunately, twenty-five percent of infected Americans don't even know they are HIV+ and countless individuals in developing nations don't have access to the drugs that keep this disease from being a death sentence. We all have to do our part not to become complacent about advocating for the funding of research and the distribution of aid.

Finally, having read about the stigma that many HIV+ individuals face - including the fact that it's often the most challenging part of their disease - I have to close with the traditional public service announcement that HIV is only transmitted through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding, infected blood transfusions, and sharing intravenous drug equipment. It's a fragile virus and can't be caught through saliva, puke, pee, poop, biting, mosquitoes, drinking fountains, toilets, shared eating utensils, swimming pools, sweat, tears, or mucous.

O Christmas Tree

2011-11-27T20:43:00.000-05:00

Personal Day

2011-11-22T21:20:00.002-05:00

We made use of our Shedd Aquarium membership and headed there today after the kiddos got out of school. There was much enthusiasm at being reunited with their beloved yellow submarine, we watched a Dora and Diego movie in 4-D (the kids' first movie in a theater), and there was a very special holiday edition of the dolphin show that was top secret. I can't reveal what we saw for fear of being eaten by beluga whales. Trust me though - it was epic.

Good Book

2011-11-22T10:06:00.003-05:00

I spent yesterday devouring Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption by Scott Simon from NPR. I didn't expect to like it and assumed it would whitewash the complicated moral and ethical dilemmas of adoption. In particular, I'm not crazy about the title. Once I started to read, however, I couldn't put it down. It's beautifully written and takes a look at adoption through the many lenses of many different families including Steven Levitt of Freakonomics and Nancy Verrier who wrote The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child. If you're looking for your next book, I'd highly recommend this one!

COURT DATE!!!!!

2011-11-15T17:42:00.003-05:00

It came! We're going to Ethiopia the week of Christmas to meet our babies! Insert disclaimers here about the fact that we could still have to wait a long time between court and embassy to bring them home, but at least we are moving forward and finally, finally, finally going to hold these sweet bambinos and see who it is we're fighting and waiting for!

Just in Case You Were Wondering...

2011-11-14T21:45:00.003-05:00

Yes, it has now been three weeks since our case was submitted to court. I've heard from other families who were submitted at the same time by other agencies that they've received court dates for the week of Christmas. We haven't been given a court date yet. Yes, it is indeed driving me more than a little bit crazy. Mark my words: I'm going to have to be medicated at some point before this adoption is finalized.

Bump Beds

2011-11-14T18:55:00.002-05:00

Last weekend, Atticus and Norah begged us to assemble their "bump beds". The two beds had been residing separately in two different bedrooms, but suddenly the kiddos decided they wanted to share a room immediately. Our house has four bedrooms, so we'd planned all along for at least two of our children to share a room once the newbies come home. We felt some trepidation about disrupting their bedtime routine because we've dealt with more than our fair share of sleep challenges, but we let them take the lead and it's worked beautifully.

Blankets hung from the top bunk to create a curtain over the bottom have created endless entertainment - I can't tell you how many times Paul and I have acted as audience to their magic show which consists of the magician telling us to close our eyes and the other child disappearing or reappearing from behind the curtain. That's the only trick in the show so far. It's a good thing it's a free show.

Sunshine Is the Best Disinfectant

2011-11-06T19:41:00.002-05:00

This morning, our entire family awoke with one of those nasty colds that seem to define the season. Thank heaven for Nommie, who suggested a nice walk through the woods and along the beach as a way of quarantining our germs while keeping the kiddos occupied.

And on the Eighteenth Week...

2011-11-04T17:09:00.004-04:00

We were finally submitted to court! Given that we were initially told that it would take one to six weeks to be submitted, the wait has been interminable. Horrible. Incredibly stressful. However, this afternoon it was finally confirmed that our children's cases have been submitted to the court. We now wait to be assigned a court date. Being assigned a date generally takes three to eight weeks, although that could change at any time and nobody really seems to understand how it works. Most families seem to be assigned court dates that are about six weeks in the future. This means that we are hoping that we might be able to travel for the first time to meet the kiddos sometime in January.

I think we're miles away from being guaranteed smooth sailing from this point out, but it feels like an incredible relief to know that there is finally some movement in our case. Many, many thanks go out to our family and friends who have listened to me whine, cry, and fret thus far. Your support has kept me from completely going over the edge.

2011-10-31T17:00:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

The Great Pumpkin, 2011

2011-10-30T11:28:00.001-04:00

Drum Concert

2011-10-30T11:23:00.002-04:00

Zoo Boo, 2011

2011-10-30T11:19:00.001-04:00

Last Weekend

2011-10-18T21:39:00.001-04:00

Rockstars

2011-10-18T20:50:00.001-04:00

Atticus and Norah had a dentist appointment today. They've gone before for exams, but this was the very first time that they'd been scheduled to have their teeth cleaned. I won't lie; I was really nervous. They proved me wrong by being completely willing and enthusiastic. They were complete pros and Norah even stood as still as a statue while some new-fangled, rotating machine took x-rays of her jaw. When we finished, Norah declared that she wants to be a dentist when she grows up. We think this a much more solid career plan than being a princess.

Buttercream Frosting

2011-10-16T21:42:00.003-04:00

Several people have asked for "my" recipe for buttercream frosting. I looked it up again today while we were making a birthday cake for my grandmother. Here it is. Enjoy!

Apple Picking

2011-10-02T19:50:00.007-04:00

We went to our favorite orchard with the Peep-Eye family today and had a great time. Fall is my favorite season because I love days like today with crisp air, blue skies, and leaves that are turning.

Atticus and Norah have learned to make funny faces. Aren't they charming? I'm sure that Chris and Christina will appreciate it when their children follow suit.

We came home with approximately a kajillion apples (though exactly half of the two kajillion that the Peep-Eyes picked). Apple crisp has already been prepared; apple sauce and apple butter are in process too, but we still have a half kajillion apples left to use. Suggestions are welcome!

The Niles Apple Festival

2011-10-01T19:39:00.002-04:00

After a week of endless rain, it was a beautiful day to attend a festival. We'd never been before and anticipated lots of foods containing apple and maybe some apple themed games. The event ended up being more like a traveling carnival though there were many booths with some nice arts and crafts. Atticus and Norah had a blast and were particularly thrilled to ride a green motorcycle just like their Grandpa Terry drives. As parents, we got a lesson in courage as we let them get onto rides by themselves. Yikes!

"Papa" by Norah

2011-10-01T11:36:00.001-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

Adoption Non-News

2011-09-23T20:44:00.003-04:00

I keep putting off posting an update about the adoption in hopes that the next day will be one in which we get actual good news worth posting about. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be coming. It's now been twelve weeks since we received our referrals and there's been very little movement on our case. On the bright side, the political situation at the orphanage that put our case at a standstill seems to be somewhat resolved and we have been told that they're now working on our paperwork. The bad news is that we still haven't been submitted to the Ethiopian court. At this point, I can only imagine that we won't be assigned a court date until at least December. Furthermore, most families going through the process seem to be hitting additional snags when their cases are submitted to the U.S. Embassy. Therefore, we're looking at the very real possibility that it could be a loooooonnnnnngggggg time before we are able to bring our little ones home. It's daunting and depressing.

We received new photographs of our little girl two weeks ago. She looks like such a sweet little babe and we can't wait to meet her in person. Unfortunately, we didn't receive updated pictures of our son, which means it's now been twelve weeks since we got an updated photograph of him.

This wait is really, really hard. Honestly, I try not to think about our new children and the adoption process too much because my mind slips quickly into a quicksand of despair. [Yes, I am being melodramatic, but it's my blog.] It's easier to stay busy and keep my thoughts occupied by other things. Unfortunately, Fridays tend to be particularly hard because that's when our agency receives updates on all its cases and we spend the day hoping that good news will come our way only to be disappointed.

I know this will all be worth it someday. At some point in the future, our little ones will be home and will have had time to adjust and all this waiting will be a distant memory. We also know we're really lucky to be in this position of getting to anticipate the arrival of new children to our family. It's just difficult to focus on that sometimes.

Living Art

2011-09-19T20:18:00.002-04:00

I thought the kids were cooperating nicely and coloring the sidewalk in the backyard while I cooked dinner tonight. Closer inspection revealed that they'd cornered the dog and were using the chalk to paint her like a cookie. There must be a special place in doggie heaven reserved just for Stella.

Hesston Steam Museum 2011

2011-09-05T19:27:00.005-04:00

Visiting the Hesston Steam Museum has become an annual fall tradition in our family. Today we were surprised to find a large festival going on and the entire place was mobbed with a convention of various steam trains, tractors, and other steam machines. Atticus wasn't too sure at first about all the noise and whistles, but once he had a pair of earplugs he had a great time.

Saturday Soccer

2011-09-03T19:34:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to Paul

2011-08-31T20:38:00.002-04:00

Several months ago, Paul reported to his coworker Laura, an avid baker, that he'd dreamed that she had brought him his head on a cake platter. Today she made his dreams come true. Happy birthday, Sweetie!

We're Going to Need Some Coffee before We Deal with This...

2011-08-26T22:33:00.003-04:00

On second thought, maybe not. I went back to school yesterday and Paul is now once again in charge of getting the kids dressed and out the door in the mornings. He went upstairs to finish dressing this morning and came down to find the children feverishly trying to clean up this "accident". Because, you know, the brand new economy-sized container of coffee just fell out of the refrigerator and landed on the Tonka trucks.

On the bright side, the house smells great. By the way, we replaced the kitchen floor last week. I was planning to post pictures of it but hadn't really anticipated using these particular shots. It does camoflauge dirt well though.

Aliens No Longer

2011-08-17T22:26:00.006-04:00

We took a family trip to Chicago today to pick up Atticus and Norah's official certificates of United States citizenship. For those interested, we applied for these certificates of citizenship (COCs) in November 2010 and received letters of appointment about two weeks ago. I really didn't know what to expect about this appointment. The letter was very explicit that we had to be there today between the hours of 1-3 PM, so I thought maybe there would be some sort of ceremony. Certain people suggested that the kids might need to recite the pledge.

The address ended up being a nicely appointed office building in downtown Chicago. We went through security where a guard commented that my big camera ought to take some great pictures, and then we sat in the huge lobby waiting for our names to be called. While we waited, we passed the time by making silly faces for the camera until a very stern guard called me over and told me that we were not allowed to take photos anywhere in the building except in front of the flag. He then made me delete the photos we had taken inside the building as he watched to make sure the photo card was clear of any pictures that might represent a breach of national security. I hope the twenty-odd pictures of us all sitting on plastic waiting room chairs with crossed eyes and stuck out tongues eased his mind. I felt horribly guilty and embarrassed.

In the end, we sat in the chairs for about 15 minutes and then a woman behind a ticket counter called us over and handed us the kids' certificates of citizenship. There were two aspects that I was surprised by. First, we were told in the letter to bring Atticus and Norah's permanent resident cards. I did not realize that once we handed those into the lady behind the counter that we wouldn't get them back. We took photos of the cards a long time ago and I'm glad we did because those permanent resident cards had two of the mere handful of pictures that we have of Atticus and Norah before they were adopted. Secondly, the letter did not tell us to bring their birth certificates but I had anyway. This ended up being a good move because their names have been changed since the permanent resident cards were issued and the worker was confused by the discrepancy between the names on the permanent resident cards and those on the COCs. At any rate, the entire "appointment" ended up lasting less than two minutes and then we were free to go.

We celebrated today's milestone with a trip to the Shedd Aquarium. The kids have been begging to return since our visit there in December and they couldn't wait to go back to the yellow submarine. Today we were lucky enough to get front row seats for the dolphin show which included a special guest - a sea lion. The trainer had him demonstrate his skills less than three feet in front of our family. It was truly fabulous and the looks on Norah and Atticus's faces were priceless.

Norah Is Four!

2011-08-11T13:46:00.004-04:00

I'm a little late in writing about Norah's birthday, but I know she never minds extending the celebration.

Miss Norah truly is gold to us. She's one of the most exuberant and affectionate children I've ever met and her enthusiasm for life infects all of us who have the good fortune to be in her family.

Turning four hasn't decreased her attraction to making messes - in fact she simply seems to have gained the height and skills necessary to reach things that are supposed to be out of reach. A picture of Norah at four wouldn't be complete without photos of her own "creations". In addition, she continues to love digging in the mud, swimming, riding her bicycle, and pretending to be a princess.

Norah, we love you to infinity and beyond!

Whine, Whine, Whine

2011-08-11T12:52:00.005-04:00

It's been a stunningly craptacular week in adoption news. I've attempted several times to sort out the facts and compose some sort of concise summary. Frankly though, I'm just a little bit too mentally exhausted.

We weren't submitted to court before it closed last week which means that we may have to wait until mid-October to be submitted and then have no idea when we'll actually be assigned a court date. Additionally, there's all sorts of drama happening behind the scenes in the adoption world that I don't feel at liberty to write about and our adoption agency hasn't exactly been rushing to our aid to hold our hands while providing the red wine and crunchy chips. Suffice it to say that I won't stop being anxious about this adoption until our new little ones are home snug in their beds. Many days it feels as though we're on one of those cartoon bridges that is crumbling as the main characters try to make it to the other side. I believe that increasing the scrutiny of adoptions and orphanages in Ethiopia is an overall good thing, but I selfishly hope that our babies can make it home before any additional calamities strike.

Swim Lessons

2011-08-04T11:42:00.001-04:00

I'm using a new camera and clearly need to work on taking action shots.

Dance Camp

2011-08-04T11:40:00.000-04:00

Atticus and Norah both had a fabulous time at dance camp this week.

Playdough

2011-08-04T11:38:00.000-04:00

Famine

2011-08-02T21:02:00.003-04:00

This article from The New York Times, "Somalis Waste Away as Insurgents Block Escape From Famine", is going to stick with me for a long time. If you're not familiar with the situation, the article provides an excellent overview. The Shebab, which is backed by Al Qaeda, was responsible for the bombing in Uganda last summer at a site that Paul and his coworkers had originally intended to be visiting - so I already had a grudge against them. The details of this current situation have me so outraged. The Shebab banned vaccinations several years ago, so millions of children are now susceptible to outbreaks of diseases. They are actually barring citizens from escaping to refugee camps in other countries and are forcing them to stay in a country where there is little food and terrible medical conditions and it's estimated that more than 500,000 children are on the brink of death. The political situation is so chaotic and corrupt that aid organizations are having an almost impossible time helping victims. The world was in an uproar after 9/11 (justifiably, of course), yet the same organization is causing so much more human destruction in ways that just should not ever, ever happen. I don't understand this world sometimes.

Commence Loopholes

2011-07-27T23:14:00.004-04:00

Me: Atticus, you may not put dirt in your sister's hair!

Atticus: (contemplating) But I can put it in my brother's hair?

Life

2011-07-26T21:11:00.002-04:00

Atticus and Norah found two caterpillars and spent quite a long time nurturing them. It quickly became apparent that Norah's was D-E-A-D, but that didn't stop her from loving it. They drew their caterpillars houses using chalk and brought them herbs to eat. Atticus's eventually crawled away and we put Norah's in the garden so that it could wake up in a nice place.
Atticus picked tomatoes and basil from our garden for our caprese salad last night and cut the basil up for me using his scissors. It won't be long before we can turn over all culinary duties to him.

The kids made an airplane out of the couch cushions and were pretending to fly to Ethiopia to bring home their new siblings. Sigh. The waiting is hard on all of us.

Hot Afternoon Activity

2011-07-22T17:42:00.002-04:00

Atticus requested that his most recent sticker chart be dedicated to a trip to the airport to watch the planes take off. Given that the airport is about five minutes from our house, always overly air-conditioned, and parking is free for the first half hour, I think we may have found a new favorite activity to add to our list of things to do when it's super hot outside.

Growing Friends

2011-07-21T09:19:00.002-04:00

Last year not everybody was big enough to stand on the rail.

Siblings!

2011-07-14T22:21:00.004-04:00

Atticus and Norah spent ten days with my parents and grandmother at the lake and just arrived home tonight. Paul and I had decided to wait until they were home before telling them the news about their new siblings. I wish I could post the video I took, but it includes the new kiddos' names and ages, so I can't do that. However, much excitement was produced. Atticus and Norah gazed at the pictures and then Atticus exclaimed, "Are they in your tummy right now, Mama?!" Norah found her own baby book and declared that the pictures were of her little sister (they don't look very similar at all). Then at bedtime, after telling me that his little brother will want to sleep in his room, Atticus added, "I'm pretty sure my new brother speaks Spanish."

What Happens Next?

2011-07-08T20:06:00.004-04:00

Now that we have our referral, I know everybody wants to know when we get to bring our new little ones home. I do too! The answer is that it will depend on a lot of variables. There are three big milestones we have to hit:
1. Our Court Date - Paul and I will travel to Ethiopia and meet our new daughter and son. We will then then appear before a judge who will (hopefully!) okay the adoption. We will then travel in Ethiopia and return home without our children.
2. The Arrival of Our MOWA Letter - In order to be granted legal custody of the children, we need to have a letter from the Ministry of Women's Affairs. These letters were at the center of the big upheaval this spring when it was announced that the ministry was going to reduce the number of letters written. Some families find that this letter is already in their file when they appear for court while some are finding that it takes many weeks for it to get there.
3. Our American Embassy Date - After our MOWA letter arrives, we will be submitted for an appointment at the American Embassy in Addis Ababa. When that date arrives, we will travel for the second time to Ethiopia and get to bring our children home.

How long will all of this take? We really can't predict that. There have been many changes to the Ethiopian adoption process in the last year and families' experiences seem to vary widely. I've read stories of people who got referrals last July, traveled for court in October, and were able to bring their children home in December. I've also read stories of families who received referrals at the same time, traveled for court in December and were able to bring their children home in April. I've heard one or two stories about families who have seen an entire year pass before they were able to bring home their new children. The slowdown with the MOWA letters is just going into effect and it will be "interesting" to see how that affects the process. There doesn't always seem to be a lot of rhyme or reason as to why some families are able to move through the process so much faster than others. Certainly the entire wait will be an extended and painful lesson in patience. Our little ones have already been in institutional care for a long time and we obviously want to have them home as soon as possible.

For now though we wait some more. The Ethiopian court closes for two months beginning at the beginning of August but we're very much hoping that our agency will get our paperwork submitted to get in line for a court date before then. I've set my heart on an October court date, though there are no guarantees of that and it could end up taking much longer. IF we get submitted for a court date before August 5th, we should be notified of our court date sometime in late August or September. Please keep your fingers crossed about that for us.

Referral!!!!!!

2011-07-05T20:55:00.003-04:00

We know who our new children are! We are delighted to announce that we will be adding TWO more children to our family. We have a young toddler son and a young toddler daughter waiting for us in Ethiopia!

On Friday evening, Paul and I were in LaGuardia Airport being ushered through security at one of the smaller terminals. As I put my purse into one of the x-ray bins, my cellphone started to ring and I glanced at it and noticed as it was heading into the x-ray machine that it was our adoption agency. Panic ensued as I told Paul who it was and tried to decide whether to answer it. By that time, my belongings, including the phone, were already in the machine. We went through the human scanner and Paul got pulled aside to be frisked. It took forever and I was frankly freaking out. Meanwhile, I checked my voicemail and it was empty. Paul dug around in his bag for his phone (which was off), turned it on, and he didn't have a message either. We debated whether to call the agency. Paul wanted to wait but relented when he saw the look in my eye that roughly translated to "Your wife will explode if you try to prevent her from calling the agency Right Now." I got to call.

To give you an idea of ambiance, there were about three thousand people sitting around this hot, stuffy, enormously loud terminal. We were supposed to be making our connecting flight momentarily. However, the adoption coordinator confirmed that this was indeed The Call. She could tell us about our new children. I'm sure all the bystanders in the terminal wondered why I was pacing around the room shaking and shrieking. That area of the airport doesn't have free wireless internet, so Paul immediately started the process of purchasing a subscription on his iPad so that we could see their pictures. The photo above is of Paul looking at their paperwork while calling his mom to tell her the news.

They are both darling. Our new little guy is already looking like a serious little man and is so, so cute. Our new baby girl is a chubby peanut with the most squeezable looking little cheeks. We're completely enamored.

More Camp Pictures

2011-07-05T11:29:00.003-04:00

Ben & Jerry's

2011-07-04T11:31:00.002-04:00

This is at the graveyard for retired flavors. Norah took some of these pictures and directed all of them, instructing us all to look very sad. I miss you, From Russia with Buzz!

I've spent every summer of my life plus four years of college within driving distance to the Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory, but I'd never visited. Middlebury College stocks its dining halls with the factory rejects of ice cream and I used to eat it approximately two meals per day - sometimes three if there was a really good flavor out at breakfast. When I graduated from college Paul and I were already engaged and I had purchased my wedding dress. I got home to Indiana and couldn't figure out why I was suddenly losing weight. Normally this is not something I would consider to be a problem at all, but alterations to wedding gowns are expensive. It finally occurred to me that the weight loss was due to withdrawal from the ice cream. Only quality ice cream is worth eating, in my opinion and there was no way I could have afforded to buy the good stuff on a daily basis. I ended up being able to exchange the dress for a smaller size and we all lived happily ever after.

The drive to the factory was gorgeous and the factory itself is situated right next to the mountains of Stowe. The tour is cheap (free for kids, three dollars for adults) and includes free ice cream at the end. There's a very nice playground at the site that allowed the kids to run off some energy before being packed into the car and Atticus was fascinated by the machinery that packs the ice cream. Overall, I would totally recommend the tour to anyone who will be in that area!

Tongue Mountain

2011-07-04T11:21:00.003-04:00

We spent last week with my parents on Lake George in the Adirondack Mountains. Before we had children, Paul and I used to love hiking there in the summers so we were very excited that the kidlettes are now old enough to accompany us. The hike up Tongue Mountain is a little over three miles round-trip. There may have been a little whining and then some promises of ice cream for those who finished the trek. It was a hot day and by the time we reached the summit I think we'd inspired about half the other hikers on the trail that they, too would enjoy some ice cream after the finish. We ended up having a good time, however, and the kids were proud of their inaugural hike.

Biology Is Hard

2011-06-17T12:04:00.004-04:00

Explaining a potential adoption to preschoolers is not for the faint of heart. Atticus continues to ask lots of questions about when our new baby/babies will join the family and he's very frustrated that we can't provide a concrete answer. He's not at all on board with the idea of adopting only one baby and provided the following plan: "My tummy could get bigger and Norah's tummy could get bigger and then we could have two babies."

Yesterday as we were walking out the door to swim class, he dropped the age-old question: "How does a baby get into a mommy's tummy?" Caught off guard, I gave him the timeless chestnut involving mommies, daddies, and special hugs and he seemed satisfied with that answer. Until tonight that is, when he was asking more questions about our new baby. "Will Papa give you a special hug to make the baby in Ethiopia? Will he give a special hug to the baby's Ethiopian mommy? Could you call the nice people at Toukoul [the care center where Atticus and Norah resided in Ethiopia] and tell them about the special hug so they can know and we can bring our new baby home?"

Oh. My. Goodness.

The Start of Summer

2011-06-16T19:36:00.005-04:00

In all honesty, it always seems to take us about a week of vacation to find our groove. The kids enjoy having the extra time with me, but it's hard for them to have a disruption to their routine. Both of them are missing school terribly right now and they don't really understand the concept of summer break. Added to this is the fact that all four of us came down with a cold on Monday.
It's been a slightly grumpy few days, but at least I anticipated that based on vacations of the past.

I always find it to be a slight shock to the system to realize how many activities it takes to fill a full day spent alone with young children. On Tuesday, we made muffins, read books, colored, picked strawberries in the garden and played in the yard, I cleaned out some kitchen cabinets while the kids watched more TV than I care to admit, we dropped a bag off at Goodwill, deposited our books at the library, went to the farmers market, attended swimming class, came home and had lunch and then quiet time. And then it was 1:30 in the afternoon. As I said, it takes us awhile to get our groove.

On a happier note, I'm so excited about some of the extra mobility we'll have this summer. Four and almost-four are awesome ages and there are so many new activities that we'll be able to enjoy. Case in point: Riding bikes. We live on a busy street and this is the first summer that I've felt comfortable with the kids' ability to follow directions and heed warnings about the danger of traffic well enough to take both of them out on their tricycles by myself. They just recently learned to pedal and we had a great time riding around the neighborhood today.

For the past several months, the kids have gotten in the habit of skipping their naps on the weekends and conspiring to play together during our enforced quiet time. We've let it slide because they've always cooperated so nicely together and it seemed like great bonding time. The past couple of afternoons, however, they've both been a total mess and today's debacle was making me feel as though I was going to lose my mind. I announced that we were going to the library at which point Norah sobbed even harder, whipped off her underpants, and declared that I couldn't make her go (the underpants apparently symbolizing a necessity for entering civilized company). Luckily, I still outweigh her by quite a bit, so panties were reapplied and kids were strapped into their carseats. By the time I reached the bottom of our street, this is what I saw in the backseat:
I drove to a Starbucks in the next town, went through the drive-thru, and spent the next half hour in the sweet silence of the car before proceeding onto the library. The rest of the afternoon was a lot better and I'm sure our summer will be too!

A New York Times Article about Natural Hair

2011-06-10T20:41:00.003-04:00

For African-Americans, "Going Natural" Requires Lots of Help

This article has some great links to websites for women of color who choose not to relax their hair. Awesome!

Snippets

2011-06-07T20:48:00.003-04:00

Some things we've heard in our house:

Atticus: Are we going to drive to Camp or take an airplane?
Me: We're going to drive.
Atticus: Oh no! We can't drive because Papa's P.O.S. can't get us to Camp! (further probing uncovered the fact that he was referring to Paul's G.P.S.)

Me: Norah, what happened to your eye (pointing to a tiny fingernail-shaped scratch on her eyelid)?
Norah: A big tiger named Magatease came and he BITED me and I said, "No! No! Magatease! Bad tiger!" and then I put him outside in the yard and shoved him into a molehole, but Magatease was too big for the hole and he didn't fit. So then I turned him into a squirrel and pushed him down in the hole and that was the end of Magatease.

Atticus: Mama, Mrs. V (his teacher) was wearing a new dress today and she looked so gorgeous! Someday, when I'm a lot older, like five or ten, can I take some money and buy her a flower and give it to her?

Norah: I have to wear sunglasses so that the sun can't see me.

I caught the kids trying to cooperatively lift the toilet off of the floor this evening.

Atticus was found recently using a bottle opener to try to pry open the babylock on our kitchen cabinet that still holds Easter candy.

The children found a box of Band-Aids after they were supposed to be in bed tonight and had applied the entire box to their bodies. On the bright side, this assuages some of our worry about Norah's fine motor skills. She was pretty good at opening all those wrappers! When I asked how they got into the bathroom (it was locked with a hook-and-eye lock at the top of the outside of the door), Atticus replied, "Oh, it wasn't a problem Mom. I just built a stool out of books."

Last night, Paul was playing a game he calls "College Fund" where the kids are supposed to try to pry open his fist to retrieve a quarter. He ceded when Atticus held his wrist firmly while Norah came running out of the kitchen with a fork and a big grin.

We've been having discussions with Atticus about real emergencies because for a while he had a tendency to yell, "Emergency! Help! Help! I'm in trouble!" out his bedroom window whenever he wanted us to come up to his room.

My Favorite Place

2011-06-05T22:01:00.001-04:00

The Artists at Work

2011-06-05T20:06:00.002-04:00

The figure in the middle is "Mama in her bathing suit." Obviously.
A family portrait by Norah. It's kind of like an ultrasound photo from early in someone's pregnancy when you just nod and say, "Right, of course that's a person." And then you hope that you're holding it right-side up.

Proof that the kids aren't quite ready to be trusted alone with their markers

Making her own pizza - There was much disappointment when I said that we would not be spinning the pizza dough above our heads.

Backyard Agains

2011-06-05T19:57:00.003-04:00

Pretending to be lifeguards (note the imaginary whistle in Norah's mouth)

The road the kids were digging now sometimes becomes a canal. The sight (and dirt all over) makes me cringe a little, but it keeps them occupied for hours.

breakfast Popsicles made from blueberries, yogurt, and spinach

They're on Their Way

2011-05-30T22:08:00.002-04:00

We dropped the Peep Eye Family (and their TEN suitcases) off at the airport today. They're on their way to Ethiopia to meet the newest family members. Hooray! We will miss them terribly this summer but we can't wait to meet Baby A and Baby T. Good luck Peep Eyes!

Letters to a Diety

2011-05-26T21:13:00.004-04:00

Writing a letter to the unknown entity who's in charge of matching you with a child or children to adopt is one of the more nerve-wracking ways that a couple can spend an evening or two. The adoption journey isn't getting any shorter or gaining any clarity, so Paul and I recently decided that we needed to revise our letter to the board in charge of matching families.

The board of the organization that runs the orphanages that our child(ren) will be placed from is a completely mysterious body. Nobody on the U.S. side knows who sits on the board or how they make decisions about matches. It's known that they don't necessarily match families in the order that paperwork is received, but instead use some sort of magic juju to determine where children will be best served. I'm not even sure if the board members see a couple's full dossier of paperwork - I think that most of the time they just have the cover letters that potential parents have written and family photographs on the table in front of them. Not that I feel pressured to write a good letter or anything.

The 1-2 page business letter also has to include details about the ages of children you're interested in adopting and health conditions you're willing to consider. There's a lot of information that has to be crammed in, but there's so much that just doesn't fit. We can promise in the letter to provide our future child(ren) with love and excellent educational opportunities, but there doesn't seem to be space to say that we're the type of parents who will let the kids experiment with digging holes and filling them with water for hours until their little bodies are fully caked in dirt, but that we often avoid playing with puzzles or other toys with too many small pieces that end up under foot. You can count on us to gently answer a half hour of our child's questions about whether there are smoke alarms in Ethiopia, where are they, how do the fire engines get to Ethiopia and what color are the engines; just don't rely on either one of us to have a reserve of patience once the lights have been turned out and the kids are supposed to be in bed. The little details seem like the ones that differentiate us from all the other potential parents, but I've never heard of anyone including them in their letter to the board.

Likewise, we have to wonder if The Powers That Be are reading in between the lines. Our paragraph about Atticus and Norah says that they're both very enthusiastic about having a baby or two join our family. Can the board members connect the dots between "energetic", "sociable", "creative", "enthusiastic" and "loves holding babies" to get the idea that it might be best if they match us with a new child who seems particularly hardy and unflappable and appears to enjoy being around loud noises and sudden movements?

All of this leaves us feeling as though we're writing to the man behind the curtain. Who are we trying to please? Do they understand what we're trying to communicate? If so, could they please fill us in because sometimes we don't even know? Added to this is the extra layer of knowledge that we have as parents who have already adopted and seen the transformation in personality that can take place once a child feels healthy and secure. Norah in particular has very little resemblance to the silent and unassuming little bundle that we brought home from Ethiopia. Paul and I don't even believe that you can make a "perfect" match but instead feel confident that we're hardwired to love whichever children we're given to love and protect.

And so...the new letter is floating out there in cyberspace. We've opened ourselves up to some new ideas including the possibility adopting one child right now and waiting a year or two before pursuing the idea of adopting a fourth child. We have no idea what our path will be from here, but the letter has been sent out like a prayer into the ether.

Our Home Gym

2011-05-23T22:15:00.003-04:00

Lately Atticus and Norah have been delighting in creating their own forts, leap pads, slides, and gymnastics mats using our couch cushions.

Construction Zone

2011-05-23T06:22:00.003-04:00

The kids were in seventh heaven assisting Paul yesterday as he worked to attach a door and windows to their playhouse. It may have taken him an extra hour or two to complete the project with all that help, but it's evident that memories were made that they'll be talking about for a much longer time.

Recently...

2011-05-15T20:37:00.004-04:00

Our important parenting skill of delivering a Very Serious, Stern, and Important Lecture while keeping a straight face was tested when Atticus decided to make dessert. Ingredients: frozen broccoli, frozen blueberries, and chocolate, vanilla and pistachio pudding mix (dry). I swear he was only unsupervised for as long as it took for us to change our clothes to go out to dinner.

Paul's brother and sister-in-law hosted us for a Mother's Day barbecue and Atticus and Norah were inspired by their cousins' tree climbing skills.

Today was freezing cold and gray so we spent much of the day inside trying to amuse ourselves. Consequently, we had a birthday party for our dog Stella who turns six years old at some point this month. It turns out there are tons of doggie cake recipes online. We chose one that had carrots and then we frosted it with pureed cottage cheese that was dyed pink. The whole thing wasn't really my cup of tea, but Stella seemed satisfied.

Quality Time

2011-05-07T11:17:00.002-04:00

Taking the city bus as a very special treat sure makes me feel like a yuppie. Atticus, however, was thrilled with the outing. Norah was spending the morning going out to breakfast with Nommie and Grandpa Terry, which made his solo adventure even more memorable.

I'm Not the Only One Who's Impatient

2011-05-04T06:51:00.002-04:00

We have rarely initiated conversations with Atticus and Norah about potentially adding new siblings to their family. Given that fives minutes still seems like an eternity to them, we haven't really thought it a good idea to talk a lot about new siblings that we hope will arrive at some point in the distant future. Atticus, however, has latched onto the idea and brings it up almost every day.

"Mama, I think when we get the new babies, if there's a thunderstorm you shouldn't leave them outside in the backyard at night because they might get cold and scared. We should bring them inside and let them sleep in Atticus's bed."

"Mama, let's bring our new babies to Camp this summer because they will really like it and I'll hold their hands if they're scared when they jump in the water."
[Upon being told that the new babies won't be home in time to go to Camp this summer] "Do you think we could make a sticker chart and I could earn our new babies? Because I don't want them to be in Eth'opia. I want them at our house."

Out of the mouths of babes.

Atticus Is Four!

2011-04-24T20:30:00.004-04:00

Happy birthday Atticus! We love you! Today's birthday post was authored by Paul:

Things of note:
Atticus loves jokes. He loves inserting "broccoli stew" or "poopoo" into the answer to questions as a punch line. He is an expert at pratfalls.

When you tell Atticus that you are hungry he always suggest broccoli and soup. Occasionally he will suggest eggs as well.

Atticus favorite words this week are "rats!" and "oh man!"

Atticus' stuffed bear ate exclusively cake (10 cakes - 1 for each claw on the front paws) until recently when his bear decided that cake is a sometimes food and now eats mostly vegetables.

He can throw a heck of a tantrum. That passion will drive achievement.

Atticus now pretty much totally explores a new environment on his own. He hiked up a dune twice (and down to the shoreline) with me jogging after him.

Apparently Atticus is pretty quiet at school, but he has made many friends. He greets them with side hugs.

Atticus will still retrieve his sister's Dora upon request.

Default games outside involve chasing his sister, digging, taking toys from his sister, swinging, pushing trucks, and mowing the lawn.

Unprompted, Atticus says that he will be very busy building schools when he is older, but he will still visit Norah.

His "love light" smells like cake.

He is not a cookie because he has hands and cookies do not have hands. (Usually this is his defense against Papa eating him because Papa gets hungry for cookies.)

He loves swinging super high - basically hitting 3 and 9 on a clock. It is unknown how long he will swing - as long as someone is pushing him that high. It makes Mama nervous.

Atticus fears ghosts.

Atticus taunts his sister by repeatedly asking how old he is (4) and then asking how old Norah is (3). He makes similar comparisons of superiority via incessant questioning any time he has something his sister does not.

Atticus can swim the length of the pool without a bubble.

We are very proud of our little boy and feel lucky to have him in our lives! We love you Atticus.

An Arbor Day Analogy

2011-04-21T21:40:00.002-04:00

Amy from Ohio wrote the following comment about this New York Times Motherlode blog post about an economist who claims that parents' choices make very little impact on their children and they should therefore just relax, enjoy the ride, and feel free to have more children. I thought Amy's comment was such a beautiful sentiment that I just had to share it. If Amy from Ohio was just copying someone else, please pass along the reference to me. I'd like to give credit where it's due.

To me, becoming a parent is like getting an unlabelled tree seedling from the Arbor Day foundation.

A parent must find the right amount of water, sunlight, and fertilizer that will help the seedling grow. They need protection from deer, and other things that will mow them down before they can stand on their own. Some seedlings stand strong and firm from the beginning; others need extra support until their roots are deep enough to stand on their own. As they get bigger, some benefit from vigorous pruning; others don't need it at all. Parents have to figure out the right combination for their seedling.

It seems to me that the economist is addressing parents who are trying to turn a redbud seedling into an apple tree. If that's your goal, then no -- nothing you do is going to make a difference. But if your goal is to bring your redbud to full blossom, then where you plant it, how you feed it, and how you prune it will have a huge impact.

Adopted Children Are Doing Just Fine

2011-04-14T18:35:00.002-04:00

I had to link to this post by Dawn on creatingafamily.org which discusses this meta-study of adopted children. The study compared the self-esteem levels of nearly 11,000 adoptees with those of 33,000 non-adopted people and found no difference between the two. Since self-esteem is a huge predictor of healthy personality development and achievement, this is a very reassuring thing to read.

Cautionary Tales

2011-04-12T23:27:00.005-04:00

The first time we adopted I was stunned by how often the following scenario unfolded: Me: We have exciting news. We're adopting! Other Person: My third cousin/friend-of-a-friend/eighth grade lab partner adopted. You wouldn't believe what a hard time they had! First, it took eight years and they lost a bunch of money. They had to travel to Farawayistan eighty-two times and it cost so much money. Their child was found in the trash/on the street/in the toilet. Boy, he/she sure is cute! S/he has so many Issues though - temper tantrums/radical attachment disorder/ADHD/being a complete asshole during adolescence. Can't you have kids of your own? Do you want to hear about the gynecological treatment/supplements/shots/hanging upside down/voodoo prayer ritual that got my other third cousin pregnant? Aren't you worried that you won't love your adopted baby? Why do you have to adopt foreign babies? Why can't you just adopt little white babies from here in the USA? It's super exciting that you're adopting though. Good luck! Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many times people said this crazy stuff to us. Would you launch into tales of pregnancies gone wrong if a friend announced that she was pregnant? No? Chances are good that you know some of those stories but wouldn't haul them out because you'd understand that the moment wasn't appropriate. You might roll your eyes at the acquaintance on Facebook who posts a picture of a positive pregnancy test and then starts talking about names before they've even heard a heartbeat, but you wouldn't comment that you yourself suffered multiple losses and then terrible morning sickness and hemorrhoids, but good luck! That would make you a jerk and even the most obtuse people seem to understand that. Venturing into the land of adoption isn't for the faint of heart. You don't have to poke around too many corners of the world wide web to find out that things can go wrong, parents can change their minds, programs can shut down, undergoing trauma will leave invisible scars on children...The list goes on and on. Any good adoption agency will not sugarcoat this. Odds are high that if someone is announcing adoption plans, he or she already knows more about it than you do as an outsider to the process. All of this is to say that I hope our family's experience during this adoption is never held up as a cautionary tale. Atticus and Norah's adoption was an unusually smooth process. It still managed to cause me plenty of angst and sleepless nights, but at the end of the day the paperwork went through without a hitch, the timeline unfolded as predicted, and we ended up with two fabulous kids who adjusted far more easily than we had a right to expect. Adding onto our family this time around has had a few more bumps so far and there promises to be more turbulence on the horizon as MOWA decides how to proceed with processing adoption cases. Even if the whole thing explodes in our faces and we end up losing fees and having our hearts broken, however, I cringe to think about our story being told to send potential adoptive parents running to the nearest fertility clinic. I reserve the right to rant and whine if we run into problems. Much crying will ensue and donations of red wine and crunchy potato chips will be accepted. The fact remains though that we signed up for this wild ride. Literally. Then we got it notarized in triplicate. I won't lie - sometimes this fact causes me to hyperventilate a little bit. That creeping worry that the weird guy at Sam's Club who chose to overshare his third cousin's adoption story might be proven right is overwhelming. I fear that if this journey ends in disappointment we'll be arming our own personal creepy Sam's Club storytellers and sending them out into the world to spread our cautionary tale one gory detail at a time. That's a lot of extra weight to carry on a road that is rocky and challenging to begin with. Please, if you're going to talk about our adoption experience, tell people this: The paperwork and waiting part sucked and I cried frequently. Sometimes the crying was rational; other times it wasn't. Lots of times I doubted the adoption was ever going to happen. Then we ended up sharing our lives with these two miracles. Sometimes they have issues, but they're so entwined with the types of challenges that all little kids have that it's nearly impossible to be certain which are presenting because of the circumstances leading to their adoptions and which are just personality quirks. Because of adoption we have a perfect little girl who sings when she's supposed to be sleeping and introduces herself to everyone she sees. We have a perfect little boy who hugs better than anyone and is already planning the best way to protect his new baby siblings during thunderstorms. We have tantrums over which clothes to wear, boogers and peanut butter smeared on the couch, and way too much dirt being tracked through the house. I've been turned into a mommy blogger who is usually satisfied with posting a few pictures of my kids along with cute stories about them. We don't get enough sleep and we sometimes can hardly think because of the noise... and then we put them to bed and talk some more about how cute they are and how much we love them. In short, it's exactly what we signed up for and it was totally worth the wait and fear. [ETA: I have no idea why this stupid post isn't reflecting my formatting. I promise I wrote using paragraphs. Darn it.]

My Cheering Squad

2011-04-10T14:11:00.002-04:00

Paul very nicely brought Atticus and Norah out to cheer me on at the end of my 10k race today. They made crossing the finish line a lot of fun (even if they did immediately start begging to be carried).

I was bemoaning the state of our backyard yesterday - It's seen better days. Much better. Paul pointed out that we could have a very nice lawn if we just got rid of the dog and the kids. I'll keep that bit of perspective in mind when the grass seed I planted inevitably gets trampled or dug up before it has a chance to establish. We may not be mistaken for a golf course anytime soon, but I'd rather have the kids.

2011-04-09T21:05:00.003-04:00

We made it to spring! The day started off a little slow, but we ended up having one of those perfect afternoons with trips to the farmers market, the pool, the beach, and then a quick tour of Notre Dame while I was picking up my race packet for tomorrow's 10k. We wrapped it all up with tilapia and asparagus on the grill. Heaven.

Spring Break 2011

2011-04-06T22:03:00.002-04:00

We visited the mall with my parents yesterday and Atticus was enthralled by this jumping activity. I couldn't let him ride by himself, of course, so I tried it out too. Despite momentary feelings of terror as I was being strapped in, it was really fun and Atticus beamed from ear to ear the entire time.

My parents have been taking classes at the Apple store, and the kids joined them to try out some of the games.

They also tried out the piano at Nommie and Grandpa Terry's house.

Waiting [Im]Patiently

2011-04-04T22:29:00.003-04:00

Today we hit another month's anniversary of waiting for a referral. [Note: A Google search reveals that "month anniversary" doesn't exist since the root of anniversary refers to a year. People who make up the rules of such things suggest alternates such as lunaversary or mensiversary. Whatever. It's my blog and I think mensiversary is a horrible word.] Paul has a client who resides in the same state as our adoption agency and tonight the client called Paul's cellphone at TEN O'CLOCK and our hearts did a little pitter-patter when we saw the area code. Last week, our adoption coordinator called me late at night. Since our agency has an unofficial policy against calling families that are waiting, I was really hoping she was calling with a referral. Instead, she was just calling to follow up about an email and to tell me that there was no news other than an acknowledgement from the care center in Ethiopia that they are aware our family exists. So... the call could come tomorrow, or it could come six months from now, or I suppose it could possibly take even longer than that - though I'd rather not go there mentally right now.

Submit Your Compliments about My Photography Skills Here

2011-03-30T20:34:00.002-04:00

Trying to take pictures using a phone from behind a window one story up from swim lessons has not resulted in the clearest photographs. Still, hopefully you can make out the fact that Atticus is swimming without a bubble in the second picture. Norah is starting to gain confidence and make progress in this area too. Both of them adore swim class and we're thrilled that they've taken to the water so well.

Ag Days at the 4-H Fairgrounds

2011-03-26T20:26:00.004-04:00

After all, we do live in the Midwest. We managed to come home without any new pets, despite the plethora of adorable lambs, calves, goat kids, ducklings, chicks, chickens, piglets, alpacas, and llamas.

Man's Best Friend

2011-03-22T22:23:00.002-04:00

Today, Atticus watched Stella eat an apple core that Norah had discarded on the floor and said,
"Stella is a really important friend because she takes care of cleaning up things that would get Atticus and Norah into trouble."

Sunny Saturday

2011-03-19T23:16:00.002-04:00

The weather today was the type that keeps us chilly Midwesterners going until spring arrives for real at the end of April. We seized the chance to run around in the sunshine and passed the afternoon at a local maple syrup festival. There were plenty of sweet treats to taste and many activities perfect for small people. It was a great way to spend a pretty day!

Weekend Photos

2011-03-13T22:18:00.004-04:00

Norah desperately wanted to help with our friends' baby.
We visited the new otters at the zoo with the Peep-Eye family.
The children begged to ride the train and then spent the entire time covering their ears.

Thank you to everyone who has been keeping our family and the entire MOWA situation in your thoughts and prayers. I don't have any real updates to give aside from the fact that a meeting among officials on Friday yielded another wait-and-see directive. For now, that's really the only thing that we can do. In the meantime, we're grateful that we already have two fabulous kiddos to keep us busy and distracted.

Crap, Crap, Crappity-Crap

2011-03-09T20:57:00.002-05:00

I feel empty and can hardly begin to describe what's going on with Ethiopian adoption in articulate terms. A huge bomb was dropped without warning by MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia) who stated two weeks ago that effective tomorrow they will only hear five cases per day instead of approximately forty. Nobody really knows exactly what's going on, mass hysteria has begun, and it's predicted that it could now take YEARS for adoptive families to bring their children home after getting a referral and the entire time children would be languishing in orphanages. It's not pretty.

There remains some optimism as some entities predict that this is a starting point for discussions with MOWA. Everyone is hoping that meetings scheduled for Friday will bring some clarity to the situation and relieve some of the uncertainty. In the meantime, it's a miserable, gut-wrenching place to be. I don't know where we're supposed to go from here.

A petition asking the Ethiopian government to reconsider how they go about adoption reform is available here.

Catching Up on Photos

2011-03-06T20:09:00.002-05:00

We finally got a little more sunshine!

We put fancy knots in Norah's hair today. It took a long time. She declared tonight that she can't sleep on them...

opening Valentine's Day gifts from Aunt Donna and Uncle Eddie

dressing up like Nommie and Grandpa Terry

Sleeping Some More

2011-03-06T20:06:00.000-05:00

Songs for Waiting

2011-03-02T22:37:00.003-05:00

In 2007, when we were in the process of adopting Atticus and Norah, I listened to these two songs and cried every single day on my way to work. Luckily, it was a short drive, so I was able to let it all out and recover before my eyes got too puffy. The CD player in my car hasn't worked reliably since Atticus fed it some pennies over the summer, but I'm thinking it's about time that I add these two tunes to my running playlist. I'm not going to lie: the waiting is getting hard. I'll go ahead and add the standard disclaimers that I'm being a big whiny baby about it and tons of other potential adoptive parents have waited far longer. I get that - really. Still, it's getting hard. We started working on our homestudy at the end of April 2010 and the process just seems to be getting longer and longer. My parents unfortunately gave me the middle name Anne instead of Patience and tears of frustration are once again making their appearance regularly around here.

In 2007, our adoption coordinator assured me that someday I would look back and realize that all the bumps in the road and minor setbacks had led to our children. At the time I sort of rolled my eyes and wanted to tell her where she could send all that sunshine, but of course I eventually realized she was right. If our social worker had been more efficient, if the embassy had finished our paperwork faster, or if the orphanage had matched families to children in the exact order that paperwork was submitted, Atticus and Norah wouldn't be our children. It's mind boggling to consider that all those times that I felt disappointed because the process wasn't going as quickly as I'd hoped were actually critical to being able to be Atticus and Norah's parents. [Feel free to queue up any number of sappy country songs here.]

For now, we wait - one of us more patiently than the other. Paul is apparently smart enough to realize that we already have an awesome life and the next adoption will happen when it's time. He's telling himself that it's going to be a long time before we get a referral and hoping that maybe we'll get pleasantly surprised by it coming earlier. As for me, I'm going to listen to some more Ani DiFranco, run some more miles, maybe paint a few rooms in our house, and trust that hindsight will once again prove to be 20/20.

He Wasn't Sleepy

2011-02-20T13:55:00.002-05:00

Giggling on the Couch by Myself

2011-02-18T20:17:00.002-05:00

According to the Internet, this email has been circulating for over fifteen years and actually originated as a contest in The Washington Post. I'd never seen it before finding this blog however, and it made me upset the dog with my laughter.

Subject: Why do English teachers die young?

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

21. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

22. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

23. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

24. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

25. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

2011-02-13T21:50:00.001-05:00