Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Songs for Waiting
In 2007, when we were in the process of adopting Atticus and Norah, I listened to these two songs and cried every single day on my way to work. Luckily, it was a short drive, so I was able to let it all out and recover before my eyes got too puffy. The CD player in my car hasn't worked reliably since Atticus fed it some pennies over the summer, but I'm thinking it's about time that I add these two tunes to my running playlist. I'm not going to lie: the waiting is getting hard. I'll go ahead and add the standard disclaimers that I'm being a big whiny baby about it and tons of other potential adoptive parents have waited far longer. I get that - really. Still, it's getting hard. We started working on our homestudy at the end of April 2010 and the process just seems to be getting longer and longer. My parents unfortunately gave me the middle name Anne instead of Patience and tears of frustration are once again making their appearance regularly around here.
In 2007, our adoption coordinator assured me that someday I would look back and realize that all the bumps in the road and minor setbacks had led to our children. At the time I sort of rolled my eyes and wanted to tell her where she could send all that sunshine, but of course I eventually realized she was right. If our social worker had been more efficient, if the embassy had finished our paperwork faster, or if the orphanage had matched families to children in the exact order that paperwork was submitted, Atticus and Norah wouldn't be our children. It's mind boggling to consider that all those times that I felt disappointed because the process wasn't going as quickly as I'd hoped were actually critical to being able to be Atticus and Norah's parents. [Feel free to queue up any number of sappy country songs here.]
For now, we wait - one of us more patiently than the other. Paul is apparently smart enough to realize that we already have an awesome life and the next adoption will happen when it's time. He's telling himself that it's going to be a long time before we get a referral and hoping that maybe we'll get pleasantly surprised by it coming earlier. As for me, I'm going to listen to some more Ani DiFranco, run some more miles, maybe paint a few rooms in our house, and trust that hindsight will once again prove to be 20/20.