In the past, one of the most common arguments brought up about transracial adoption was that white parents wouldn't know how to take care of their black children's hair. I'm a big believer in "figuring things out", but I still find that I'm a little neurotic about our kids' hair. I don't want anyone judging me to be a bad mother because my kids' hair looks damaged. We went to an awesome picnic this weekend with all the families in our area who have adopted from Ethiopia and when I brought up this topic there was a lot of interest. Therefore, I figured I would type out what we've done so far in the hope that it will help someone else out. Obviously, every person has different hair, so the routine I've developed might not work for someone else.
I stopped by a local barbershop last weekend and asked the barber and his wife to make sure Atticus and Norah's hair wasn't damaged. They assured me that their hair looks fine and is uneven because of how it's growing in rather than any mistakes on my part. They said to bring Atticus back in a year or so for his first haircut. They recommended using a Black & Beautiful Tea Tree products in the future.
Here are some pictures of the kids' hair. Norah is on top; Atticus is below. You have no idea how hard it was to get pictures of the backs of their heads.
Norah's hair is finer and has looser curls than Atticus's. The barber's wife tried to tell me that Norah must be biracial given her hair texture. Atticus's hair is tighter and soft.
Currently we are using Carol's Daughter products (I know, it's such a cliche for adoptive parents to use this) and the same routine seems to be working well for both kids. This is what we're doing these days:
- Once a week, we shampoo them with Rosemary Mint Shampoo and then comb through a little of Lisa's Hair Elixir before putting them to bed.
- Every morning I spray their hair with Black Vanilla Leave-in Conditioner, comb through it with a wide-toothed comb, and then apply a fingernail-sized amount of Mimosa Hair Honey to define their curls.
- Each evening after their bath, we rub on a quarter-sized amount of Hair Milk and comb through their hair to get rid of any tangles.
The Carol's Daughter products have strong scents, but I like the way they smell and have always been a sucker for hair products that smell good. I like Aveda products for my own hair and I think the CD products have a similar family of scents. I recently learned that CD products are available at Sephora, so it would probably be well worth it to try them out at the store before purchasing any. They aren't cheap!