Tuesday, April 8, 2008


After checking some books out from the library about sleeping and finding advice that ranged from cosleeping to letting Atticus cry it out, I called our adoption agency. One of the wonderful social workers who has adopted three children of his own talked me through everything and said that getting up with Atticus and rocking him is absolutely the right thing to be doing right now.

Conventional wisdom would say that an 11 month-old should be able to soothe himself back to sleep. If he'd been in our home since birth I would probably be advocating to let Atticus cry it out at night. The social worker reassured me though that these midnight cries are probably a way of testing his security here in his new home. He's been through so many changes and he needs to know that we're going to comfort him. In addition, he allayed my fears that we'll spoil Atticus by going to him or create a monster that never, ever sleeps. Deep down, this feels like the right advice to me. I really, really wanted someone to tell us what to do and I finally got that!
Of course, the bad news here is that Paul and I need to keep getting up at night!

In other good news, Norah just rolled over from front-to-back and back-to-front while I was watching her! Right in a row! Progress on rolling over has been slow, so I'm delighted to see her making some strides. She looked really proud of herself!


Alexandra said...

Ditto on that advice. We let K cry it out around 7 months for a couple of days and she slept right through the night. HOWEVER - we were with her from day one, she didn't experience any of the things that your babies did, and for the first four months we picked her up every single time that she cried at night. The call it the fourth trimester for a reason, and I think that that title is befitting for the first three to four months whenever your children come to your family. I wish I could come over and help you, but know that I am thinking about you guys a lot these days and sending good sleeping vibes your way.

Brenna said...

I'm mom to 3 sweeties we adopted, and we got up with all of them, for as long as it took. They are age 10, 5, and 5 now. Yes, we were walking zombies, but it paid off great. Adopted kids have been removed from everything they know and love, then they have to learn to trust us. Nighttime is when they feel most vulnerable, so we believe that we parents must respond consistently at night until they feel secure and can sleep through. I speak from experience~ so keep doing the great job you are doing! Hope everyone is sleeping better soon!

Ila said...

At 14months when Ila cries out I give it about a minute and then one of us in there patting her back, giving her a pacifier, laying her back down and occasionally rocking her. It doesn't spoil her and it hasn't meant every night is like that, in fact most nights are just fine. Do what you feel, it is probably right. They are just wonderful.