Wednesday, November 7, 2007

An Ode To Our Families

(Okay, not really an ode because I recognize that I'm a terrible poet).

Many potential adoptive parents (PAPs) are hurt to find that their extended families are less than overjoyed by the news that they're adopting. "Don't you want a baby of your own?" is a question I see lamented far too frequently by other PAPs on adoption boards. Family members have concerns about bringing a "stranger" into the family, the possibility of a genetic roulette, birth parents swooping back in years later to reclaim their children. Misgivings stem from all sorts of sources, usually out of the desire to protect the PAPs. Add in the myriad of issues that arise from a trans racial adoption and there's a lot of room out there for ignorant and hurtful comments that indicate hesitation on the part of the extended family. We've gotten tastes of this from acquaintances who have hinted that adopting is a consolation prize for us, including one rather drunken admonishment that we just have to have biological kids because they would have, like, super powers or something. Uh, thanks but no thanks.

This post, however, is designed to praise our own families who have been amazingly supportive of this adoption from the very beginning. There are a lot of special people who are waiting to welcome our kids into the family and that means the world to me. My mother-in-law has a Moses basket waiting on her hearth to symbolize waiting for new grandchildren. I think my mom would have purchased enough baby clothes to outfit an entire orphanage by now if she only knew the sizes and genders of our kids. My grandma has been knitting mittens. My dad asks about the progress every time I talk to him to the point that I'm tempted to tell him that yes, actually, we leave tomorrow to pick them up. Oops, did I forget to mention that when you asked about the status of the process yesterday? We have a little niece and nephew praying for their future cousins. I don't want to leave anybody out because we've gotten so much support and it's been so wonderful. Adopting can be a very boring process; it's a lot of waiting and paperwork and more waiting. It helps a lot knowing that our families are impatient too and are excited about our children. Thank you.


Pennythrower said...

hi honey! great post. did you get my email about this weekend? love, andrea

Mary said...

Betsy and Paul,
That IS a great post, and I am so very happy for you both. Now we can get the buckets out for some great sand you still have those good old rafts???? The babies will need them befor you know it!!! Best wishes for a wonderful trip and keep the pictures coming. Much love and a life of blessings, Mary and Roger